This is by no means a serious piece of writing, but instead a bit of fun looking through the list of all the species I’ve photographed so far…
The biggest – Up until 2017, the largest species I’d photographed were probably the Minke Whale or the Basking Shark. The largest land mammal I’d photographed at that time was probably the Red Deer. In 2017 a number of land-based mammals overtook that, such as the huge (for a deer!) Sambar Deer, then the Water Buffalo, culminating with the Sri Lankan Elephant. Finally, on an incredible day in waters off the southern tip of Sri Lanka, I photographed the biggest species I’ve ever photographed or ever will photograph – the Blue Whale. Nothing beats the Blue Whale of course, but I can now add the largest land mammal to the list – the African Elephant, having photographed plenty of them in South Africa, where I was also able to tick off the largest bird I’m ever going to see, with a number of Ostrich being seen and photographed.
The smallest – The smallest species I’ve listed that are visible to the naked eye are arachnids such as the Clover Mite or Hypsosinga heri. The latter is a tiny spider that was assumed to be extinct in Britain until re-discovered shortly before I saw it. By far the smallest thing I’ve photographed is a Tardigrade sp. making use of an iPhone aligned with the eye-piece of Nick Baker’s microscope whilst working as a TV researcher.
The rarest – In terms of
The deadliest – Apart from the obvious Mosquito, this title probably has to go to Central American species such as the Fer-de-lance or the Poison Dart Frogs. The frogs are tiny, and really don’t feel dangerous at the time of watching them, however, they hold enough toxins to kill many people. The Fer-de-lance, on the other hand, felt dangerous. When I got close and was composing a close-up headshot with the macro lens it turned towards me and started flicking its tongue. Immediately the images I’d seen of bite victims came to my mind, along with the realisation that I was many hours from any kind of help in the jungle on the Osa Peninsula. Responsible for 50 human deaths each year in Sri Lanka, the Sri Lankan Elephant deserves a mention too.
The recent African trip was partly in a malaria hotspot so the mosquito gets another mention. Sadly I didn’t see any of the really deadly snakes, the most dangerous being the African Rock Python. Mammals were a different story though, with a whole host of characters jostling for the title of ‘most deadly’. Hippos take the top spot, but lions, leopards, elephants, buffalo, etc all deserve a mention.
The fastest – Predictably the Peregrine Falcon, which I’ve always felt doesn’t fully deserve its title of fastest creature on the planet, given that it essentially relies on ‘aerodynamic falling’ to achieve its record-breaking speeds, as awesome as that admittedly is. In level flight, the Peregrine doesn’t feature amongst the fastest birds. Red-breasted Merganser, Hobby, Golden Eagle and Brown Hare all deserve a mention. The fastest land mammal is of course the Cheetah, which I was lucky enough to photograph in 2018.
The slowest – I’ve no real idea which creature takes this title once the relative size of the species and distance travelled are taken into account. The Leopard Tortoise and the Star Tortoise was unsurprisingly slow moving, but probably not slow enough to take the title. In fact, when I got distracted from photographing it by a Black-naped Hare (on the other end of the speed scale!), I looked back for the Star Tortoise and it had gone. Predation or a spurt of speed, I’ll never know. All of the gastropod species I’ve photographed must rank highly, but which is the slowest of all, I’ve no idea – nor do I care to find out. Whether it really is the slowest or not, this title is going to the Brown-throated Three-toed Sloth – a creature I quickly came to love, and was lucky enough to be able to observe at close quarters.
The smelliest – This is quite easy. The Northern Tamandua (Lesser Anteater) stinks. Once I’d seen and smelt my first one, the second one announced its arrival with its odour long before it came into my view. They’re truly amazing creatures, and I one day hope to see their Giant Anteater cousins, but they really do smell bad. The Striped Hog-nosed Skunk may well deserve this award, but as I only managed to capture it on a trail-cam it doesn’t take it from the tamanduas.
The coldest – Mountain Hare and Ptarmigan in the Cairngorms. If you’re going to do it in winter, don’t do it in a whiteout, and don’t walk over snow if you don’t know what’s underneath it, such as a
The hottest – Looking for Resplendent Quetzal in the 100% humidity of the cloud forests of Costa Rica, searching for Ocelot and Jaguar trails in the burning sun of the Osa Peninsula, or trying to find as much wildlife as possible before sunstroke took hold in Yala National Park, Sri Lanka. I don’t tend to look at weather reports much – it will be what it will be – so I don’t know how the hottest days in Africa compared with the above, but it was also seriously hot!
The unfriendliest – A lot of wildlife doesn’t want to be seen, but some individuals make a point of letting you know it. A rogue Capercaillie who found me in the Cairngorms and decided to pursue me out of his territory that I’d inadvertently entered is going to take this title
The loudest – The hoarse cry of Howler Monkeys in the Costa Rican jungle is a sound I’ll never forget. It travels long distances and helps the animals keep tabs on each others location.
The creepiest – I didn’t think I held any prejudices when it came to the natural history of the world, but having stayed in and around the Sinharaja rainforest of Sri Lanka, I realised that there is a species that I came to quickly hate – leeches. Tiny, virtually impossible to see on the ground, yet they were everywhere, and as soon as you move, they sense vibrations and start moving towards, and up you. With suckers on both ends, they can also bite from either end, sucking up to 5 times their own weight in blood, administering both an anti-inflammatory and an anti-
The ugliest – the Lesser Adjutant. My partner would probably argue it to be the Flapshell Turtle. At one point we even saw both species at the same pond as if in some kind of
The prettiest – Impossible to say. Things that spring to mind are the huge metallic Blue Morpho butterflies of Central America, the Sun Bittern which was so stunning when it opened its wings wide that I just stared in awe as I failed to actually take a photograph, the Asian Paradise Flycatcher trailing impossibly long white streamers as it flies, the jewel-like hummingbirds of Monteverde cloud forest, the Leopards of Sri Lanka… then in 2018 in Africa I set eyes on the bird I’d long dreamed of – the Pennant-winged Nightjar – a bird which deserves not only this title, but also that of most surreal.
Take photographs for long enough, and you'll sooner or later be asked for advice about which is the best camera, the best lens, etc. Perhaps more frustrating, you'll meet other photographers who insist on talking about the merits and shortcomings of your gear, their gear, or whatever gear is on ... Read more